I wish I could be 2 legged again


I dont know how to start this. I am 25 years and a double above knee woman from Austria. Already 15 years I am in a wheelchair without future or work. I had a few boyfriends, but always the same... they left me one by one. The longest relationship I had was 6 months. It was a nice young man who was also an amputee (one leg), but for him it was strange to be with another amputee. I guess he tought that I wanted him to push my wheelchair the whole day.
I don't know or don't understand why people want to become an amputee, certenly not like me; leg-less.
If i had a change to become two legged, i would even give my life for that.
So many nice things you can't do anymore when youre the whole day in a wheelchair.
I hate it when people are starring at me. Everywhere I feel the eyes looking in my back. Thinking 'poor girl'.
Somethimes I am achamed for what I am, and the baddest question that people can ask me is: how did you lost your legs?. If people ask me this question I don't answer, or I give stupid answers like : 'they falled off one night'.
Honnestly, I even don't know what I am doing on a site like Ampulove. In one way i find it good that there are such a sites. That there is interest in amputees.
I hope to find out trough this and other sites or people are only sexual interested in amputees. I don't want to be a lust-object.

from: Tannia, 25, female, Austria