Ampu-Love Blog - 2020
by Amputee Alex



Diary / Blog of Amputee Alex / Ampu-Love

This is the place where you can read the Diary ( Blog) of Ampu-Love / Amputee Alex.
News, thoughts, updates, info, happenings and more...

Tuesday, December 29, 2020 - 2.12 AM
A few people ask me why I don't wear prosthetics, -or ask me or I have prosthetics.
Yes, I have them, but they are in Belgium, Europe (and I am in the Philippines).
I got them in 2008, just before I left to the Philippines, knowing I would not use them. I am so used on a live without prosthetics. I know that many people like ,stubbies (prosthetic legs without knees for above the knee amputees), well I don't like any prosthetics. When I will be back in Europe, then I will use those as a decoration and will put a plant in each of them (not a joke).
I must be crazy and totally retarded; Worse then those stubbies... I left my brand new invacare (trademark) motorized wheelchair behind. A thing from around $8000. It was delivered 3 months before I came to the Philippines, so... indeed I used it only for that short time.
This for the stupid reason that I knew that the Philippines wouldn't be wheelchair accessible and not knowing that I would not return to Europe soon, made it now that this wheelchair is still in Belgium. But two years without using, those batteries for sure will be for the garbage (and I guess the wheelchair too).
The layout of the prosthetics was fancy; Anyway, that's my opinion. I decided for the jeans look; You almost can say 'No need to wear pants then!'
I know that for many amputees prosthetics are important. For me the wheelchair is (was) more important since it gave me a total freedom. I went almost daily to the beach with it to drink my coffee; No taxi needed; I could go really far with it and I didn't needed help from anyone.
The independent feeling I had in Europe I do miss a lot, much better it was then being pushed around. I can push myself around in a regular wheelchair, even using my right arm stump, but not for far distances.
Saturday, December 26, 2020 - 02.32 AM

Still awake and still working on the website, since the internet connection act a little bit normal.
Let me have it about,... Sales of movies from different Philippine amputee woman who work for 'Angela', also an amputee who makes all the movies with only a regular cell phone, even not a real camera. 
During many months talking with different cocostump models, we could understand that they are not correctly paid by the organization. Also we got confirmed that the real big boss from cocostump is not Angela, but Dirk, the German devotee who made the famous website; The same guy who traveled indeed to Sri Lanka with the hope to start there his own wacko oriented projects (see earlier blogs / diary here to read more about him).
Now, that cocostump models are considered to be gold diggers and money hunters is another fact from what we received the proofs. This week even a devotee showed us how he had send 2 times 32.000 Philippine pesos (about 2 times us$ 620) to one of their models and complained that the 'Philippine amputee girls from cocostump only beg for money'. Maybe because they are indeed not correctly paid?...

But not only cocostump models are money diggers and are using devotees... Two weeks ago we heard the story from a guy who had a Philippine amputee girlfriend. Never seen her in reality, only from and on internet... He sponsored her 50.000 Philippine  pesos monthly (about us$ 1000), till he found out that she had 'more online devotee boyfriends'. Maybe it is a Philippine attitude... Get rid of a leg and start making money by sucking the foreigner devotee wallet empty.
But also about devotees we heard many bad attitudes. Many want to chat with amputees and talk a lot of fake stories, asking naked pictures and finally block the amputee after they got their satisfaction for free from the amputee girls.

A question that I ask myself already a few days is what happened to Geronimo?; And also other devotee and wannabe friends asked me that.
As many of you know, Geronimo was a wannabe and through some meetings with surgeons he became finally an amputee. His real name is Paul and before his pension, he was a fireman. During his many visits to me in the time I still lived in Belgium, we made many pictures and videos
For sure more then seven years that I didn't hear from him anymore, but still his German phone number is still working, but no one attend. Devotees and wannabes even contacted me with the question: 'Do you think he died?' but at this moment no one can give an answer. On the right side a few pictures from Geronimo, only a few days after his right leg was amputated. The first picture is together with me, sitting outside of the hospital.
I met Geronimo through Wolfgang, a German friend of him who owned AmpFax for many years. Wolfgang came a few times on visit and he was at that time married with a single above the knee female amputee. The marriage of Geronimo wasn't so successfully... Married with a Brazilian beauty, but at the moment he told her about his wannabe wish, a divorce started. Geronimo, once he reached his amputation was left behind with his son. If someone know where is Geronimo and or he is still alive; Let me know. Geronimo, Wolfgang and many others I know... Pretty amazing that the most devotees and wannabes are in Germany and the most are very open minded about it. On the second place it is for sure the USA that contains the most devotees and wannabes.

Friday, December 25, 2020 - 3.48 PM

A very happy start for a Christmas day; My third Christmas in the Philippines. Happy start? More a wacko start. Again I received a friendship request on FakeBook from someone with a fake name. Many times I announced on groups that I do not accept friendship requests from fakers.
If a rational conversation can't happen, and they can be themselves, then 'run off'. Here on the right side a screen shot from 'him'.
Weird that Facebook don't take control of all this. Even my old profile from 12 years ago is still visible on Facebook. Amazing since I lost my password from that account a decade ago.
Where are the beautiful years that devotees and wannabes were not fake, ... Yahoo groups, Yahoo messenger, Forums, websites,... All without using a fake name and all without FakeBook.  
I am already 26 months in the Philippines. The decision I made when I was in Portugal to come here and to stay here was a retarded miserable mistake I made. The most dumbest thing I ever did.
I left everything in Portugal behind; While I know that I never would stay here. Used so many times,... Bank cards gone, Two times my passport was stolen, my glasses and even while I was sleeping a person took a lot of money that I did hide under my Belly, laying on the money.
only during the last few months it goes very backwards with me. People from the past, even family contacted me to say how bad I am looking and questioned me or I am sick. On two months about 20 people that know me in real life contacted me about that. I know I want to go home, but no one is helpfully and probably don't take me serious.
The Philippines is in many ways more expensive then Europe. For sure when you have that foreigner face. Mostly prices goes up; Single mothers try to get in contact with you. Diaper and baby milk money.
I don't think I am ill, it is more deep depression together with stress, sadness, the feeling to being locked up and not enough food. Here are four pictures from me in the Philippines. The first two from before, the last two are very recent and I am really skin over bone... A huge difference.

A normal country drop you out after a stay of 3, maximum 6 months. The Philippines have a different law. Here you can stay till three years. But what they don't tell you.... If you stay more then 6 months and less then one year, you need to get an ECC. ECC? Well that's a permission from immigration to leave this country. Less then one year here? Then you can get it at the airport. More then one year? You need to go to the main office in Manila (capital) to request it.
Now... I was in Manila, I tried to make an online appointment with immigration (but their website was down), I contacted my embassy about it (and they told me that a person with a disability can go there without an appointment), and when I went there, very unfriendly immigration people told me there I could not get in.
But there was the standing solution ! A woman in immigration uniform told me: 'Oh sir, but you can arrange that problem at any immigration office in the Philippines'. But that time I didn't ask her bout an ECC, but about the first stamp in the new passport, that is needed before you even can pay the back stand of immigration payments.
Dumb as I was, I returned back to the island of Palawan and the city of Puerto Princesa (cleanest and greenest city of the Philippines, if you ask Google), 800 km from Manila away.
Many proofs were needed thanks to that stupid corona virus, and once back here, I ended up in a very luxury hotel. Ten days quarantine (jail), organized by the government and even paid by them.
After that quarantine, straight to the immigration office over here; 'We can not help you sir, it is really and only in the immigration office in Manila that this can be done'. My embassy gave me such an answer from what your blood gonna stream faster... 'We can help you to make an appointment here at immigration in Manila, but you decided to return to Palawan'... Couldn't they tell me that on the moment I was in Manila?!...
Now, about three months later, still living in a -kind of hotels, waiting till the big day I can get finally out of the Philippines.
Back to Manila, ... health certificate required to travel, a police clearance to travel, a ticket, money to stay in a hotel there, immigration visits and payments (knowing thanks to this all I am already overstaying about 14 months and that they probably will ask me to leave the Philippines), a PCR corona test what cost money, a ticket to Europe, money to live, money to rent there. All too crazy and sad. "Will I ever make it back home?", is a question I ask myself daily.